Anna Rachfalska – You are not a project to fix. You are a system to understand

Anna Rachfalska – Scrum Master, workplace women’s community leader, psychologist and a Gallup‑Certified Strengths Coach & Insights Discovery Licensed Practitioner.

“Over the years, I’ve learned to replace self‑fixing with the courage to be myself. Today, I help tech teams and women in corporate environments, helping them come back to a grounded “I’m okay,” and then grow from what already works within them.”

Relief first, direction second; mindfulness over fixing, your own style over fitting in.

Take off someone else’s shoes

Over the years – watching myself and then working with women (and still working with myself… honestly, this part never ends) I started noticing something we have in common. No matter our age, role, or life stage, many of us share one surprisingly well-developed skill: we’re excellent at tracking our imperfections. Almost automatically, we scan for people who seem “better.” We compare. We adjust. We fix. As if we ourselves were a project that’s never quite finished.

Social media doesn’t help.

Every day we scroll past stories of success, confidence, productivity. Loud voices tell us we can – and should – do more. A free ebook promises a shortcut. A new method claims to be the missing piece. And before we notice, the question in our head quietly shifts. It’s no longer “What do I want?” It becomes “What am I missing?”

But are you really missing something?

Somewhere in that avalanche of content and opinions, often without a clear moment we could point to – we lose contact with ourselves.

So let’s pause for a second.

Look: you are already somewhere. You’ve come a long way. You’ve achieved things. And throughout all of that, you were never perfect – and you never will be. Neither are the people you admire most.

This text is not about fixing yourself yet again.

This text is about coming back to yourself – and building on what already works. So instead of asking “What should I change?”, let’s try something else: What in you made it possible for you to be exactly where you are today? And how can that something continue to support you?

Diversity as a clue, not a problem

I’ve always been fascinated by diversity – by how two people can have similar skills and ambitions and still think, act and react in completely different ways. For a long time, though, there was something underneath that fascination.

If I’m honest, I didn’t really know who I was – what I wanted, what was mine. So I tried to fit into someone else’s shoes. The ones that looked right. The ones that promised stability, success, a “good life.” Somewhere between frustration and exhaustion, I stopped.

And I started looking for my own pair.

What I’m about to describe is not the way. There is never no single right path (as there is never no single perfect person). I’m simply sharing two approaches that helped me feel more grounded – and that I often see helping the women I work with. I combined two tools: Insights Discovery and CliftonStrengths. Each of them works perfectly well on its own. They’re not incomplete. They simply serve different purposes.

For many people, they complement each other beautifully: first bringing relief and a sense of place and then offering direction.

Insights Discovery: “You’re okay.”

Insights helped me name something I hadn’t been able to name before. My way of communicating, reacting, working under pressure it wasn’t a flaw. It was a way of operating. It gave language to what energizes us, what drains us, how we relate to others and what happens when stress takes over. It also explains a lot about teamwork, why collaboration with some people feels natural, and with others… less so.

For me – working as a Scrum Master, leading a women’s community, constantly navigating change and urgency, it felt like an instruction manual for my nervous system.

I stopped treating my reactions as character flaws. I started reading them as information.

Here I need calm.

Here I need structure.

Here I need people.

And here – space.

For many women, this is the first moment of relief. Instead of “What’s wrong with me?”, something softer appears: “Oh. That’s why. And it’s okay.” And then, quite naturally, another question follows.

CliftonStrengths: “So what already works in you?”

If I’m okay as I am – then where exactly is my strength? And how can I build on it? This is where CliftonStrengths comes in. Not to fix you but to help you recognize what already works, and develop it into something you can rely on. I see this every day in teams. Two people can do “the same job” and do it in completely different ways. One leads through calm and relationships. Another through pace and drive. A third through analysis. A fourth through vision. All of them can deliver excellent results – as long as they’re not trying to be themselves in someone else’s style.

And this is something I want you to hear clearly: you are okay. It’s just possible you’re trying to win a game that isn’t yours.

What you can take from this

Relief: your style is not a problem to fix – it’s information. Direction: your strengths are often the things that feel obvious to you. Growth: building on what works costs far less energy than constant self-repair. Even without any test or tools, you can start here:

What are you already good at — so good it feels obvious?

When does time disappear and you simply do?

What do people naturally come to you for?

One last thing

If today you feel tired of yourself and tired of the world – I get it. I’ve been there. Sometimes I still find myself there. I know how easy it is to fall into: just one more fix, one more course, one more push. But very often, we’re not chasing a real goal. We’re chasing someone else’s picture. So maybe today we can do something simpler. Take off someone else’s shoes. Put them aside.

And take one step in your own. This road may be slower — but it’s finally yours.